MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE
By David Smith & Wesley Simons
INTRODUCTION.
1. Many feel that marriage as we know it must go.
2. The feminists have no use for the home.
3. The humanists have no use for the home.
4. The immoral have no use for the home.
a. Homosexuals want to redefine marriage.
b. If such is done the home will be destroyed.
5. We cannot let the world destroy the beauty of marriage.
6. What is the definition of marriage?
I. A CREATION OF GOD.
A. Gen 2:19,20 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of
the of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to
see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living
creature, that was the name thereof. 20And Adam gave names to all cattle,
and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam
there was not found an help meet for him.
B. Gen 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be
alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
C. 1 Tim 4:1-4 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times
some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines
of devils; 2Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience
seared with a hot iron; 3Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain
from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of
them which believe and know the truth. 4For every creature of God is
good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving.
D. Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth
favour of the Lord.
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II. A CONTRACT.
A. Mal 2:14-16 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness
between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt
treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore
one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your
spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 For
the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth
violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed
to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
B. Rom 1:31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural
affection, implacable, unmerciful.
C. This contract is both Divine and human (civil).
D. It is possible to enter a civil contract which is not in harmony with God’s
law.
1. Mk 6:17,18 For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon
John, and bound him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s
wife: for he had married her. 18For John had said unto Herod, It
is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife.
2. Only God can join two people together in marriage.
3. Only God can disjoin two people who have been married.
4. God joins and disjoins in harmony with His written will.
III. CONDITIONED ON QUALIFICATION PRIVILEGE.
A. Only three classes of people are qualified to marry.
1. Those who have never been married before:
a. Matt 19:4,5 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye
not read, that he which made them at the beginning made
them male and female, 5And said, For this cause shall a man
leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and
they twain shall be one flesh?
2. Those who, being innocent, put their mate away for the cause of
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fornication:
a. Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away
his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced
committeth adultery.
b. Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his
wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery.
3. Those who have lost their mates to death:
a. Rom 7:1-3 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that
know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man
as long as he liveth? 2For the woman which hath an husband
is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but
if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her
husband. 3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married
to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if
her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she
is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
4. Therefore, one must marry one who falls into one of these three
classes.
IV. COMMITMENT.
A. Some want to live together for a while to see if they were made for one
another. (This is not Biblical.)
B. Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
C. Acts 11:23 Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was
glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave
unto the Lord.
D. Matt 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore
God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
E. Rom 7:1-3 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,)
how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2For the
woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so
long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of
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her husband. 3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to
another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be
dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she
be married to another man.
V. COMPANIONSHIP.
A. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
B. Jim Backus said the reason his marriage had survived in Hollywood was
because he and his wife were best friends.
C. Marriage should not be a battle of the sexes.
D. It takes team work to make a marriage work.
E. Marriages often fail simply because one of the partners does not want to
give it his/her best effort.
F. Marriage is the only place where one plus one equals one.
G. A good marriage is as close to heaven as one can get on this earth.
H. Matt 12:25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every
kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or
house divided against itself shall not stand.
VI. COMPLETE LOVE.
A. Agape.
1. Love toward all.
a. Strong’s definition: NT:25 agapao (ag-ap-ah’-o); to love (in a
social or moral sense).
2. This is a love that is extended even when a person is not lovable.
3. This love is commanded.
a. Matt 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them
that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for
them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
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b. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also
loved the church, and gave himself for it.
B. Phileo.
1. 1 Sam 18:1 And it came to pass, when he had made an end of
speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul
of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.
2. This is friendship love.
a. Strong’s definition: NT:5368 phileo (fil-eh’-o); from NT:5384;
to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), i.e.
have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter
of sentiment or feeling).
3. This is making your mate your best friend.
4. This is the kind of love that causes you to want to be with your
mate.
5. This love allows husbands and wives to communicate with each
other.
6. This will allow each mate to promote each other rather than
provoke each other.
7. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to
love their husbands, to love their children.
8. Rom 1:31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without
natural affection, implacable, unmerciful.
9. This love is also commanded - 1 Pet 1:7.
C. Storge.
1. Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
2. I am devoted to my marriage love.
3. I am devoted to my children love.
4. I am devoted to my family love.
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5. This kind of love involves loyalty, commitment, and strong devotion.
D. Eros.
1. We get our word “erotic” from this word.
2. Sex is a beautiful language spoken by married people.
3. Playboy magazine did not create sex, God did!
4. Sex is not dirty. It is beautiful and wonderful.
5. Educate your children in this area.
6. Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
a. Marriage comes before the bed.
b. All others are whoremongers and adulterers.
7. This kind of love accomplishes several things.
a. Produces offspring:
(1) Gen 1:27,28 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God created he him; male and female
created he them. 28And God blessed them, and God
said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish
the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over
the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and
over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
(2) Psa 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4As arrows are
in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the
youth. 5Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of
them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak
with the enemies in the gate.
(3) Matt 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and
they twain shall be one flesh?
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(4) Having children out of wedlock is sinful.
b. Prevents fornication:
(1) 1 Cor 7:1-5 Now concerning the things whereof ye
wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a
woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every
man have his own wife, and let every woman have
her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the
wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto
the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own
body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband
hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud
ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a
time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt
you not for your incontinency.
c. Promotes purity in the realm of sexual relationships:
(1) Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed
undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will
judge.
d. Provides private, precious moments:
(1) Gen 24:67 And Isaac brought her into his mother
Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his
wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after
his mother’s death.
(2) Gen 26:8 And it came to pass, when he had been
there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines
looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold,
Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.
E. Love is the glue that keeps marriages together.
1. 1 Cor 13:1-13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of
angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a
tinkling cymbal. 2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand
all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith,
so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and
though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth
me nothing. 4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth
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not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself
unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh
no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth
all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall
fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be
knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9For we know in part, and we
prophesy in part. 10But when that which is perfect is come, then that
which is in part shall be done away. 11When I was a child, I spake
as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I
became a man, I put away childish things. 12For now we see
through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part;
but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13And now abideth
faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
VII. CONFINED TO THIS LIFE.
A. The Mormons believe:
1. They can have their mates in all eternity if they are married in one
of the Mormon temples.
2. Their wives are not raised from the dead if they have displeased
their husbands.
3. The wives are eternally pregnant.
4. This view is based on lust
B. Matt 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage,
but are as the angels of God in heaven.
C. Mk 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor
are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
D. All physical marriages are limited to this life.
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An Unscriptural Divorce Is Not The Answer
AN UNSCRIPTURAL DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER
INTRODUCTION.
1. In the 1960's, 1 in 4 marriages ended in divorce.
2. In 1975, 44 out of every 100 marriages ended in divorce.
3. In 1976, 47 out of every 100 marriages ended in divorce.
4. In 1977, 50 out of every 100 marriages ended in divorce.
5. Statistics:
a. Divorces cost $28 billion yearly in the US alone.
b. For every 2 marriages, 1 will end in divorce.
c. From 1970 to 1994, the number of divorces quadrupled.
d. “Divorced persons” is the fastest growing marital status category
in the USA.
e. Persons divorced more than once are almost three times as likely to have
drinking problems.
f. The suicide rate is almost three times higher among the divorced than
among those who have never been divorced.
g. The National Institute of Mental Health advises that the divorced are about
four times as likely to have problems with depression as are those who
have never divorced.
h. Studies have shown that the prevalence of suffering from any psychiatric
disorder over a lifetime was significantly lower for those in stable marriages.
i. Children of divorced parents are much more likely to drop out of school
than children from one-time married couples.
j. Children from broken homes are much more likely to have a difficult time
obtaining and maintaining steady employment.
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k. The children of divorced parents are more likely to become “teen parents,”
producing out-of-wedlock babies, than the children of life-long married
parents.
l. The children of divorced parents are three times more likely to have
emotional or behavioral problems than they will have if their biological
parents stay together.
I. DIVORCE IS A SIN AGAINST:
A. The marriage vows.
1. Jas 5:12 But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by
heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your
yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.
2. Psa 116:14 I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of
all his people.
3. Jdgs 11:30,31 And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said,
If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine
hands, 31Then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors
of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children
of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt
offering.
4. Jdgs 11:34,35 And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and,
behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with
dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son
nor daughter. 35And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent
his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very
low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my
mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back.
5. Marriage vows:
a. Do you take her for better or worse?
b. Do you take her in health and sickness?
c. Do you promise to keep yourself to her and her alone?
d. Do you take this woman to be thy lawful wedded wife?
e. Do you take her until death do you part?
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6. Psa 22:25 My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I
will pay my vows before them that fear him.
7. Psa 50:14 Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the
most High.
8. Does your word mean anything?
9. If you did not keep your vows made in the first marriage, what
makes you think you will do it the second, third or fourth time?
B. Your mate.
1. Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth
adultery.
2. 1 Cor 7:1-5 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It
is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid
fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman
have her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the wife due
benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4The
wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise
also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
3. Will your mate fornicate because you divorced him/her unscripturally?
4. We do not want to be guilty of placing one in harm’s way spiritually.
5. Matt 18:7-9 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must
needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence
cometh! 8Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut
them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into
life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be
cast into everlasting fire. 9And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out,
and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one
eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
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C. Love.
1. 1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves:
for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
2. Rom 12:9,10 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is
evil; cleave to that which is good. 10Be kindly affectioned one to
another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.
3. Rom 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he
that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
4. Rom 13:10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is
the fulfilling of the law.
5. Gal 5:14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou
shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
6. Gal 5:22,23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,
gentleness, goodness, faith, 23Meekness, temperance: against
such there is no law.
7. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it.
8. Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He
that loveth his wife loveth himself.
9. Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his
wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
10. Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
11. 1 Thess 4:9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write
unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.
12. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to
love their husbands, to love their children.
D. Forgiveness.
1. Eph 4:31,32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour,
and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be
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ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even
as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
2. Matt 6:14,15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you: 15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
3. Mk 11:25,26 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought
against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive
you your trespasses. 26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father
which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
4. Matt 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
5. 1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be
not hindered.
6. Lk 17:3,4 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against
thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. [4] And if he trespass
against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day
turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
E. The children.
1. Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but
bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
2. Divorces often cause a battle for the children.
3. Children often feel they are the ones who caused the divorce since
there is a battle for them.
4. I have had children to tell me to preach on marriage, divorce and
remarriage because of what a divorce did to their lives.
F. Society.
1. Matt 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see
your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
2. Rom 14:7,8 For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to
himself. 8For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether
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we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we
are the Lord’s.
3. Ezek 22:30 And I sought for a man among them, that should make
up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I
should not destroy it: but I found none.
4. God calls upon us to make a difference!
G. The church.
1. 1 Tim 3:1-7 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a
bishop, he desireth a good work. 2A bishop then must be blameless,
the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour,
given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3Not given to wine, no striker, not
greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4One
that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with
all gravity; 5(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how
shall he take care of the church of God?) 6Not a novice, lest being
lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without;
lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
2. Titus 1:6-9 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having
faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. 7For a bishop must be
blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry,
not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; 8But a lover of
hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; 9Holding
fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be
able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
3. When a man gets involved in an unscriptural divorce he disqualifies
himself for a leadership role in the Lord’s church.
II. THERE IS ONLY ONE SCRIPTURAL REASON FOR DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE.
A. Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife,
saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and
whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
B. Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it
be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso
marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
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CONCLUSION.
1. Unscriptural divorces destroy homes, our mate, society, children, the church, etc.
2. We husbands must be diligent in ruling well our own homes.
3. We must make our wives the queen of the household.
4. We must train our children the way God wants them trained.
5. The devil has done a good job destroying the home. We do not want to become
his helper.
6. May God help us to stand against that which is destroying the home as God
would have it.
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Foolish Reasons For Getting Married
FOOLISH REASONS FOR GETTING MARRIED
By Wayne Jackson and Wesley Simons
INTRODUCTION.
1. Marriage is a lifetime commitment.
2. Therefore, it should be taken very seriously.
3. There are many good reasons for getting married.
a. It is not good that man should be alone — Gen 2:18 And the LORD God
said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help
meet for him.
b. To avoid fornication— 1 Cor 7:2 Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let
every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
c. To replenish the earth — Gen 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said
unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:
and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air,
and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
d. To find someone that will help you go to heaven. 1 Kgs 21:25 But there
was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to work wickedness in the
sight of the LORD, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up.
e. To find someone who will be your best friend.
(1) Jim Backus was asked why his marriage had survived in Hollywood
when others did not? He said, “My wife and I are best friends.”
4. Marriage is an option and not an obligation.
a. Many well adjusted people never got married.
b. Look at the apostle Paul.
5. Marriage is to be taken very seriously. This is the second most important
decision one will ever make.
6. However, some enter this relationship in a very foolish way.
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7. Look at all the people who are sorry they rushed into marriage.
8. Will this be your mind-set ten years from now?
9. We want to look at some foolish reasons to get married.
I. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.
A. Many people “fall in lust” rather than love.
B. Prov 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman [that]
feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
C. Prov 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which
is without discretion.
D. George Reeves (the original “Superman”) lost his life possibly over a
woman.
E. In Hollywood, when the women’s beauty starts to fade, the male movie
stars desert them.
F. Would you give your soul for a woman?
G. “Beauty is only skin deep, and if some were ‘skinned’ how hideous they
would appear.”
H. Prov 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above
rubies.
I. Prov 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that
maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
II. DESPERATION.
A. There are those who feel pressured to get married.
B. Sometimes it comes from the parents. (They want grandchildren.)
C. Sometimes it comes from peer pressure.
D. Some people marry out of panic.
E. Consider this poem:
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At sweet sixteen, I first began
To ask the good Lord for a man.
At seventeen, as I recall,
I wanted someone strong and tall.
The Christmas that I reached eighteen,
I fancied someone blond and lean.
And then at nineteen, I was sure
I’d fall for someone more mature.
Then at twenty, I thought I’d find
Romance with someone with a mind.
I retrogressed at twenty-one
And found the college boys more fun.
My viewpoint changed at twenty-two
When “one man only” was my cue.
I broke my heart at twenty-three
And asked for someone kind to me.
Then begged at blasé twenty-four
For anyone not a bore.
Now, Lord, that I am twenty-five,
Just send me someone who’s alive.
F. If you marry in haste a great life you might waste.
III. TO GET OUT OF A BAD ENVIRONMENT.
A. Some people get married to get away from mom and dad.
B. I have had people tell me, “I would have married anyone to have gotten
out of that mess.”
C. These people rarely find pleasure in marriage.
D. If one has the mind-set to leave to avoid problems, then what about
problems in their new found marriage?
E. Some “jump out of the frying pan into the fire.”
F. This is the main reason people get a divorce. They want out of a bad
environment.
IV. REVENGE.
A. The “I will show you” attitude.
B. I have had people tell me this is the reason they got married.
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C. How long can a marriage like this last?
D. Rom 12:18,19 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with
all men. 19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place
unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
E. Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
F. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it.
V. TO COVER A MISTAKE.
A. Have you ever heard of a “shotgun wedding?”
B. Two mistakes do not make a right.
C. I know of a congregation that was about to split over this issue.
D. Some say, “The baby needs a name.”
E. Eccl 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to
utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth:
therefore let thy words be few.
F. One needs to ask:
1. Will this person make a good mate?
2. Will he/she make a good mother or father?
3. Will he/she help me and the baby to go to heaven?
4. Do I love him/her with all my heart?
5. Do I want to spent the rest of my life with him/her?
VI. IT IS WHAT IS IN VOGUE.
A. All my friends are married.
B. I feel left out.
C. It is the thing to do.
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D. Keep in mind when you make this decision it is for a lifetime.
1. Matt 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
2. Rom 7:1-3 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know
the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he
liveth? 2For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law
to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead,
she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3So then if, while her
husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called
an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law;
so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another
man.
VII. COVER UP THEIR SEXUAL PREFERENCE.
A. I know those who got married so they could cover up the fact that they
were homosexual or lesbian.
B. Rom 1:24-27 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through
the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
25Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and
served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever.
Amen. 26For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even
their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned
in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly,
and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which
was meet.
C. Homosexuality is based on lust!
D. One is not born a homosexual!
E. One is not born a rapist or child molester!
CONCLUSION.
1. We are to honor the design of marriage.
2. We are to teach our children to honor the design of marriage.
3. When a pervert marries, he/she perverts God’s standards and laws.
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How To Fight Within Marriage
HOW TO FIGHT WITHIN MARRIAGE
INTRODUCTION.
1. Disagreements will come.
2. Problems must be settled.
3. An unscriptural divorce is not an option.
4. Therefore, there must be ground rules on how to solve marital problems.
5. When people come to me with marriage problems I ask them, “Will you allow
God to settle your marriage problems?”
a. If they say yes, then I can help them.
b. If they say no, then I do not have the wisdom needed to help them!
6. Husbands and wives do not know how to fight:
a. Some blow up,
b. Some clam up,
c. Some will not shut up,
d. Some get up and leave,
e. Some divorce, and
f. Some kill each other.
7. Consider these points.
I. NO HITTING.
A. I have been in homes where there were broken dishes, etc.
B. I have seen the battle scars on the bodies of husbands and wives who did
not take God’s approach to settling conflicts.
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C. Eph5:28,29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh;
but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
D. It takes a “low life” to hit his wife.
E. 1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
II. NO WITHHOLDING OF THE BODY.
A. Don’t let your children see you sleeping on the couch unless you are sick.
B. Some people have gone for months, even years, without sleeping with
their mates.
C. This puts your mate in great temptation.
D. 1 Cor 7:1-5 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is
good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise
also the wife unto the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own
body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of
his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with
consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and
come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
E. Are you stealing from your mate?
III . DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR WRATH.
A. Do not go to bed mad at each other.
B. Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your
wrath.
1. One can be angry without sinning.
2. Mk 3:4,5 And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the
sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held
their peace. 5And when he had looked round about on them with
anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto
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the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his
hand was restored whole as the other.
IV. LOVE YOUR MATE WHEN YOUR MATE IS NOT LOVABLE. (AGAPE LOVE.)
A. Prov 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth
favour of the LORD.
B. Matt 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse
you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully
use you, and persecute you.
C. Lk 6:27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to
them which hate you.
D. Lk 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for
nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children
of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
V. FORGIVE EACH OTHER.
A. Matt 6:14,15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you: 15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither
will your Father forgive your trespasses.
B. Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
C. I have known those who claim they will never forgive a certain person.
D. Lk 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee,
rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
E. Why should I forgive my mate?
1. I need forgiveness.
2. God will not forgive me.
3. It makes me a better person.
4. It shows a proper example to others.
5. It aids my prayer life.
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VI. NEVER BE ASHAMED TO SAY “I AM SORRY.”
A. Psa 38:18 For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
B. Matt 14:9,10 And the king was sorry: nevertheless for the oath’s sake, and
them which sat with him at meat, he commanded it to be given her. 10And
he sent, and beheaded John in the prison.
C. One must be willing to express his/her feelings.
D. Some mates refuse to say they are sorry for anything.
E. One who cannot say he/she is sorry has too much pride.
F. Prov 6:16,17 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an
abomination unto him: 17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed
innocent blood.
VII. WATCH WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT EACH OTHER.
A. Col 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy,
filthy communication out of your mouth.
B. Prov 15:2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth
of fools poureth out foolishness.
C. Prov 15:4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is
a breach in the spirit.
D. Prov 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul
from troubles.
E. Prov 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that
refraineth his lips is wise.
F. Prov 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up
anger.
G. Prov 15:23 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word
spoken in due season, how good is it!
H. Prov 16:24 Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and
health to the bones.
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I. Prov 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of
understanding is of an excellent spirit.
J. Prov 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
K. Prov 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more
hope of a fool than of him.
L. Prov 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till
afterwards.
M. What have your children heard you call your mate?
N. Children learn to be good husbands and wives by watching mom and dad.
VIII. ALWAYS COMMUNICATE.
A. I am amazed by the husbands and wives who claim that they cannot talk
to each other.
B. Isa 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though
your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red
like crimson, they shall be as wool.
C. A husband and wife ought to be able to reason together.
D. No problem is too large for God.
IX. HAVE THE ATTITUDE THAT YOU WANT BOTH TO COME OUT OF THIS
BATTLE AS WINNERS.
A. Many mates have the attitude, he or she is not going to get the best of me.
B. Matt 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to
you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
C. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it.
D. Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife
even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
X. REMEMBER WHAT POWER LOVE HAS.
A. One does not have Bible authority to fall out of love with his or her mate.
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B. 1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for
charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
C. 1 Cor 13:1-7 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and
have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and
all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains,
and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my
goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have
not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4Charity suffereth long, and is kind;
charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not
behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh
no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all
things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
D. Jn 13:34,35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one
another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35By this shall
all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
CONCLUSION.
1. Someone must be an example to our children.
2. Someone has to be an example to the church.
3. Someone has to be an example to the world.
4. That someone is you ... and me!!!
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The Role Of The Husband
THE ROLE OF THE HUSBAND
by David Irick and Wesley Simons
INTRODUCTION.
1. God gives the perfect “recipe” for success in marriage.
2. However, a marriage will only be perfect when everyone involved fulfills his or
her role as God requires.
3. We have those today who do not like the roles God has set in place for men and
women.
I. THE HUSBAND IS TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HOME.
A. His Role Is One Of Leadership.
1. Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is
the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
2. 1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man
is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of
Christ is God.
3. He is the leader, he is in control and he must lead. I have had
women to beg me to talk to their husbands so that they would step
out and be the head of the home.
4. The husband establishes by his life (actions) a direction for those
under him to follow. Will it be sinful? Luke warm, unconcerned? Or
will it be righteous?
5. What is involved in being the head of the home?
a. Spiritual leader.
(1) Prov 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
(2) Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to
wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.
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(3) Gen 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his
children and his household after him, and they shall
keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment;
that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he
hath spoken of him.
(4) Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the
Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether
the gods which your fathers served that were on
the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites,
in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my
house, we will serve the Lord.
(5) Gen 13,19 Notice the decision that Lot made and look
at the result.
(6) Fathers will answer to God for not training their
children correctly.
b. Decision making.
(1) He is to consider all the facts.
(2) He is to consider his wife.
(3) He is to consider his children.
(4) But most of all he is to consider what is right in the
sight of God.
c. Morals.
(1) One cannot lead where he will not go.
(2) What has the family seen in you as a moral leader?
(3) The people of Sodom and Gomorrah would not have
made good parents.
(a) 2 Pet 2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and
Gomorrah into ashes condemned them with an
overthrow, making them an ensample unto
those that after should live ungodly.
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(b) Jude 7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the
cities about them in like manner, giving themselves
over to fornication, and going after
strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering
the vengeance of eternal fire.
(4) The people of Noah’s day would not have made good
parents.
(a) Gen 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of
man was great in the earth, and that every imagination
of the thoughts of his heart was only
evil continually.
(5) Herod and Herodias would not have made good
parents
(a) Mk 6:17-24 For Herod himself had sent forth
and laid hold upon John, and bound him in
prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s
wife: for he had married her. 18For John had
said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have
thy brother’s wife. 19 Therefore Herodias had a
quarrel against him, and would have killed
him; but she could not: 20For Herod feared
John, knowing that he was a just man and an
holy, and observed him; and when he heard
him, he did many things, and heard him gladly.
21 And when a convenient day was come, that
Herod on his birthday made a supper to his
lords, high captains, and chief estates of Galilee;
22And when the daughter of the said Herodias
came in, and danced, and pleased Herod
and them that sat with him, the king said unto
the damsel, Ask of me whatsoever thou wilt,
and I will give it thee. 23And he sware unto her,
Whatsoever thou shalt ask of me, I will give it
thee, unto the half of my kingdom. 24And she
went forth, and said unto her mother, What
shall I ask? And she said, The head of John
the Baptist.
B. The Husband Is To Provide For His Wife and Family.
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1. 1 Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those
of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
2. The level of prosperity is NOT what is considered, but that he is to
provide an adequate “provision.”
3. Husbands Need To Be Careful That This Duty Is Not Abused.
a. Matt 4:4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall
not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth
out of the mouth of God.
b. Jn 6:27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that
meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of
man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed.
c. Our jobs should not become our lives.
d. Do you work constant overtime?
e. Do you work weekends?
f. Do you have time for your family?
III. THE KIND OF LOVE THE HUSBAND IS TO HAVE TOWARD HIS WIFE.
A. He Is To Love His Wife As Christ Loved The Church.
1. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it.
2. Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
3. Rom 5:6-8 For when we were yet without strength, in due time
Christ died for the ungodly. 7For scarcely for a righteous man will
one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to
die. 8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
4. Jn 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down
his life for his friends.
a. He loved us when we were not lovable.
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b. He loved us unconditionally.
c. He loved us sacrificially.
d. He loved us seeking our best interest.
e. He loved us unto death.
B. He Is To Love His Wife As He Loves Himself.
1. Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He
that loveth his wife loveth himself.
2. By implication my wife’s happiness should mean as much to me as
my own happiness!
3. Just as I do not want to have another talk to me in an ugly manner,
I should never speak to her in an unfriendly tone, etc.
4. As men we do not want to be taken for granted, run over or
ignored.
5. Therefore, we should not want to do this to our wives.
6. Matt 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men
should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the
prophets.
C. The Husband Must Give Honor Unto His Wife As The Weaker
Vessel.
1. 1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be
not hindered.
a. Honor: “a value, i.e. money paid, or valuables; by analogy,
esteem (especially of the highest degree) or the dignity itself.”
(Strong.)
2. The wife is (generally) the weaker part physically and emotionally.
3. She is not weaker intellectually.
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4. Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
D. The Husband Is To Be Faithful To His Wife.
1. Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
2. 1 Cor 7:2,3 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have
his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3Let the
husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also
the wife unto the husband.
3. Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it
be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:
and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
E. “But He That Is Married Careth For The Things That Are Of The
World, How He May Please His Wife” 1 Cor 7:33.
1. When you consider these things the idea of a husband being a
cruel dictator evaporates!
2. The husband should always be genuinely concerned with her
desires/interests and needs.
3. Deut 24:5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out
to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall
be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath
taken.
CONCLUSION.
1. When the husband fulfills his role and wife fulfills her role you have God’s
beautiful arrangement of marriage.
2. Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord
Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
3. 1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving
honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of
the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
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The Role Of The Wife
THE ROLE OF THE WIFE
David Irick and Wesley Simons
INTRODUCTION.
1. 1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and
the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
2. The feminist movement has hurt the concept of the role of the wife in marriage.
3. The role of the wife in marriage is a vital link in building a successful marriage.
4. Any marriage can only be as strong as each link in the chain.
5. The husband must do his part and the wife must do her part.
I. THE WIFE IS TO SUBMIT UNTO HER HUSBAND.
A. This command is not cultural in nature as some claim.
1. The husband is to be the head of the home.
2. 1 Tim 2:12-15 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp
authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13For Adam was first
formed, then Eve. 14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman
being deceived was in the transgression. 15Notwithstanding she
shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity
and holiness with sobriety.
3. Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow
and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and
thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
4. 1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man
is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of
Christ is God.
5. Too many wives wear the pants.
6. Some men have the attitude: “The wife runs things in our house
and I bring home the bacon.”
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7. Many men are “henpecked.”
8. Frances Quarles wrote:
Ill thrives the hapless family that shows
A cock that’s silent, and a hen that crows;
I know not which live most unnatural lives,
Obeying husbands or commanding wives.
B. God commands the wife to submit unto her husband.
1. This is not a principle that men have made up to keep their wives
under control.
2. The feminist movement opposes this thought with all their might.
3. They believe that this makes a women a second rate human being.
a. 1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of
every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man;
and the head of Christ is God.
b. 1 Cor 15:28 And when all things shall be subdued unto him,
then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put
all things under him, that God may be all in all.
c. I am subject to the police officer which pulls me over, but I
am not inferior to him.
d. The woman is not inferior to the man.
4. Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as
unto the Lord.
a. Submit - “To arrange under, to subordinate, a military term
meaning to arrange in a military fashion under the command
of a leader” (Thayer).
5. Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the
wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
a. Notice that Paul says wives are to submit in the like manner
as the church submits to Christ.
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6. 1 Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the
word be won by the conversation of the wives.
7. 1 Pet 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto
their own husbands.
C. This carries the idea of obeying the husband.
1. Titus 2:2-5 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound
in faith, in charity, in patience. 3The aged women likewise, that they
be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given
to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the
young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their
children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
a. This comes from the same Greek word elsewhere translated
“submit.”
2. Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his
wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
a. Reverence: “To reverence, to venerate (venerate - to look
upon with feelings of deep respect - Webster).
b. To treat with deference (deference-yielding in opinion,
judgment, wishes, etc. - Webster).
c. Reverential obedience (Thayer).
3. Some women do not want the word “obey” in their marriage vows.
4. Women must follow God’s pattern on this point!
5. Is this a “hard command?” Consider. Husbands are commanded to
love their wives as Christ loved the church and as he loves himself.
6. He is to nourish and cherish her.
7. Thus, in context to his leadership and her submission this must be
considered as God’s overall plan. Yes, she is to submit, reverence
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and obey her husband. When both positions are followed there will
be very little tension.
8. He loves her in such a special manner his desire will be nothing but
good for his wife and the family, making it easy for her to follow.
9. Sarah is used as an example.
a. 1 Pet 3:6 Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:
whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not
afraid with any amazement.
10. Do you promise to love, honor and obey?
II. THE WIFE IS TO LOVE HER HUSBAND.
A. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children.
B. This means that you love them even when they are not lovable.
C. There is no Bible authority for falling out of love with one’s mate.
D. 1 Pet 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for
charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
E. Matt 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
III. THE WIFE IS TO LOVE THE CHILDREN.
A. Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children.
B. Rom 1:31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural
affection, implacable, unmerciful.
C. Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
D. Notice these quotes:
1. “All that I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother” (Abraham
Lincoln).
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2. “The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom” (Henry Ward
Beecher).
3. “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” (John Gray).
4. “Youth fades, love drops, the leaves of friendship fall. A mother’s
secret love outlives them all” (Oliver Wendell Holmes).
IV. THE WIFE IS A KEEPER AT HOME.
A. Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their
own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
B. Too many mothers work so that the family can have more material things.
C. They do this to the peril of their family.
CONCLUSION.
1. Whether male or female, may we always seek to follow God’s pattern in all
things.
2. For by doing so we find true happiness!
3. A man is not qualified to be an elder unless he rules well his own house.
a. 1 Tim 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in
subjection with all gravity.
b. Titus 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful
children not accused of riot or unruly.
4. The homes in America are in disarray.
5. The same is true with the world.
6. God has the answer!
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Marriage, Divorce And Remarriage
MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
Matthew 19:1-12
INTRODUCTION.
1. When we look at our society today we’re living in a day and time when many
homes are broken up.
2. As a matter of fact, in many cities, more divorces are granted than marriage
licenses.
3. We are allowing Hollywood to set our standards as far as morals are
concerned, rather than the word of God.
4. We are going to have to go back to the Bible. Otherwise, the home will be
destroyed.
5. The sad part is that even some preachers in our great brotherhood have begun
to loose the laws of God and advocate that we can fellowship just anyone regardless
of how many times they have been married, divorced and remarried.
6. Some elders and churches hold these same views.
7. Some advocate that it doesn’t matter what the reason is for divorce, that if one
remarries unscripturally then all he has to do is either be baptized into Christ or, if
he is a Christian, pray and God will forgive and accept that situation. Is this what
the Bible teaches?
8. If this is what the Bible teaches then that is what we want to do. But if it is not
what the Bible teaches, then certainly we do not want to do that.
I. JESUS INFLUENCED MULTITUDES.
A. Matt 19:1,2 And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these
sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea
beyond Jordan; 2And great multitudes followed him; and he
healed them there.
B. While on earth our Lord influenced multitudes.
C. He had the golden opportunity to teach the greatest principles ever taught.
In so doing, He changed the lives of many people. This shows the power
of God’s Word.
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D. Jesus always told them what they needed to hear, not what they wanted
to hear. This is why they crucified Him.
E. It was during His great popularity that He taught the truth on marriage,
divorce and remarriage.
F. Many preachers will not teach the truth on this subject because they want
to be popular.
G. Jesus wanted to do His Father’s will, not be popular with the people.
H. Today we have the opportunity and technology to preach to multitudes.
I. Will we tell them what they need to hear, or what they want to hear?
J. The world is totally confused on this subject.
K. We must be God’s voice ringing forth loud and clear what needs to be
heard from God’s Word on this subject! If we do not preach the truth on
this subject, who is going to do it?
II. INSINCERE PHARISEES.
A. Matt 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and
saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every
cause?
B. The Pharisees were not interested in truth. The Bible says they came to
Him to tempt Him.
C. I am convinced as a minister of the gospel of Christ that many people
have come to me with a marriage problem not looking for truth, but wanting
me to sanction their situation.
D. When I did not give them the answer they wanted to hear they went
running to another preacher.
E. We must be honest and accept the Bible answer. A true Bible student will
follow the scriptures wherever they lead him even if the answer is not what
he wants to hear.
F. We must love the scriptures even when they oppose our practice. This
can be a hard thing to do.
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G. The Pharisees wanted to know if it was lawful to put away one’s mate for
every cause. What if we were to ask this question in America today?
H. The answer from the world would be, “Of course!” However, this is not the
Bible answer.
I. We need to realize, as apparently the Pharisees did, that not all marriages
are lawful. They might be lawful in the sight of men, but are they lawful in
the sight of God?
J. They were trying to get Jesus on the wrong side of Herod and others.
K. John the Baptist told Herod that he unlawfully had his brother Philip’s wife:
17For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John, and bound
him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s wife: for he had married
her. 18For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have
thy brother’s wife. 19Therefore Herodias had a quarrel against him, and
would have killed him; but she could not (Mk 6:17-19).
L. It is possible to unlawfully have someone else’s wife. This being true, look
at all the people in America who probably have someone else’s mate. This
is sinful or unlawful!
III. HAVE YE NOT READ?
A. Matt 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he
which made them at the beginning made them male and female.
B. When it comes to marriage, divorce and remarriage, the problem is that
people have not read what the Bible says.
C. Let us read for a minute.
1. Matt 5:32 “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth
adultery.”
2. Matt 19:9 the Bible says, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put
away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away
doth commit adultery.”
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3. Lk 16:18 “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another,
committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away
from her husband committeth adultery.”
4. Rom 7:1-3, while the contrast is between the two laws, still yet the
marriage relationship is used. The Bible says, “1Know ye not, brethren,
(for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath
dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2For the woman which
hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he
liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her
husband. 3So then if, while her husband liveth, (now watch, WS)
she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:
but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is
no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”
5. Many who are divorced have never read these verses.
D. From the aforementioned verses, we see that all parties who divorce
and marry another are parties that continue to commit adultery. The
only exception to the rule is that an innocent party put his or her
mate away for the cause of fornication.
E. Many have never taken the time to read God’s Word. Therefore, when
they find themselves in violation of His law, they try to find some unscriptural
way to fix it. This will not work!
F. When one gets married he must think enough of the laws of the land to
find out what they require.
G. Should we not think just as much of the law of God and find out what God
has to say about marriage, divorce and remarriage?
H. One often gets married with the attitude that if this one does not work,
then he will try another one. Why? Because one does not know what the
Bible says and could not care less at that time. However, we have to be
honest enough to accept what this Book says.
I. The Lord says, “Have you not read that He which made them at the
beginning made them male and male?” No, that’s not what it says, but
that is what a lot of people today are advocating.
J. Some say if two men want to get married, that is all right. If two women
want to get married, that is all right. I suggest unto you that it is not all
right. That is not what the Bible teaches.
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K. Some states are passing laws to recognize homosexual marriages.
L. God made male and female. He did not make Adam and Eve plus Esther,
Ethel and Eileen just in case a divorce occurred.
IV. LEAVE TO CLEAVE.
A. Matt 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and
mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one
flesh?
B. Many marriages get into trouble because one of the mates will not leave
father or mother.
C. We are to love our mates more than we love our parents.
D. Some married people never learn to do this. Therefore, there will always
be marriage problems. Your mate should not have to compete with your
parents for your love. A double-minded person is unstable in all his ways.
E. One has to have Bible authority to marry.
1. Those who have never been married before - Matt 19:5.
2. Those who have been married and as an innocent party have
put their mates away for the cause of fornication - Matt 19:9.
3. Those who have lost their mates to death - Rom 7:1-3.
4. If one who falls into one of these three classes wishes to marry,
then he must marry one who also falls into one of these three
classes.
F. I want you to notice that word cleave.
1. “Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad,
and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would
cleave unto the Lord” (Acts 11:23).
2. Just as you and I are to cleave unto the Lord, in just that way, we
are to cleave unto our mates. The Bible plan is one man for one
woman for a lifetime.
3. Now young people, you better listen. You need to pay attention
because once you say, “ I do,” in the sight of God, you did.
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G. The husband and wife are to become one flesh; one in love, purpose, aim,
goal, etc.
1. This was God’s original plan: And Adam said, “23This is now bone
of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because
she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall
be one flesh” (Gen 2:23,24).
2. They are not to pull against one another. They are to be a loving
team.
V. PUT NOT ASUNDER.
A. Matt 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
B. We need to realize that God, and God only, can join two together in
marriage. He joins only those who comply with His marriage laws.
C. In like fashion God, and God only, can disjoin those who are married. He
disjoins only those who comply to His divorce law, the only scriptural reason
being fornication.
D. I wish every judge in this great country would believe this verse.
Then, they would quit coming down with their gavel saying, “Divorce
granted”!!!
1. They should realize that they do not have the right to put marriages
asunder.
2. You and I must realize that we do not have that right either, unless
fornication is involved.
E. God says no man has the right to put asunder what He has joined
together. Will we listen to God?
VI. FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO.
A. Matt 19:7,8 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give
a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8He saith unto them,
Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put
away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
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B. Divorce is brought about because of the hardness of hearts toward God
and one’s mate.
C. God has always frowned upon divorce.
D. Jesus Christ goes all the way back to the beginning to endorse God’s
original plan: one man for one woman for a lifetime.
VII. EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION.
A. Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife,
except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth
adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit
adultery.
B. The only reason for a scriptural divorce and remarriage is fornication.
C. Envision fornication as a large word which takes into consideration all
illicit sexual acts. This would include homosexuality, lesbianism, adultery,
incest, bestiality, etc.
D. Thank God Jesus used a word that would include all these things.
E. We know that a mate does not have to tolerate his/her mate committing
adultery. However, it is also true that one does not have to put up with
his/her mate being involved in homosexuality. This is the beauty and import
of the word fornication.
F. Now just forget you have ever heard any teaching on marriage, divorce
and remarriage. What would this verse mean to you? I think one can understand
it if he will just forget about what he has heard. If a person puts
away his mate, not for the cause of fornication, and marries again, he
commits adultery. If the put away mate marries again, she commits adultery.
G. The word “commits” means “keeps on committing” adultery just as long as
one is in that state.
H. Roy Deaver puts it this way:
1. “Everybody who knows anything about Greek tense knows that the
normal, regular, general, meaning of present tense is continuous
action.” (Biblical Notes, June, 1981, p. 27.)
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On page 11 of ESSENTIALS OF NEW TESTAMENT GREEK Dr.
Ray Summers uses the words “progressive” and “continuous” synonymously,
and then makes this statement: “The present tense indicates
progressive action at the present time.” In his BEGINNER’S
GRAMMAR OF THE GREEK NEW TESTAMENT William Hersey
Davis says: “Continued action, or a state of incompletion, is denoted
by the present tense, - the kind of action is called durative or
linear. The action of the verb is shown in progress, as going on.”
Burton says: “The Present Indicative is used of action in progress in
present time...The most constant characteristic of the Present Indicative
is that it denotes action in progress.” (Ernest DeWitt Burton,
SYNTAX OF THE MOODS AND TENSES IN NEW TESTAMENT
GREEK, pgs. 7,8.)
2. Some preachers today, and I’m talking about ministers in the
Lord’s church, say that one cannot live in adultery.
a. Rom 6:1,2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin,
that grace may abound? 2God forbid. How shall we, that are
dead to sin, live any longer therein?
b. Col 3:5-7 Mortify therefore your members which are upon
the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil
concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: 6For
which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children
of disobedience: 7In the which ye also walked some time,
when ye lived in them.
I. If the innocent party puts away his mate for the cause of fornication, the
guilty party cannot marry again without committing adultery. The guilty
party has no right to remarry. There is no Bible authority for the guilty
party to ever remarry.
1. There are grave consequences for being an unfaithful mate! Where
is the verse or any Bible authority for the guilty party to remarry?
2. One cannot be guilty of destroying a marriage and be rewarded by
God with the right to remarry.
3. If this is the case, then if one does not want to stay in his current
marriage, all he would need to do would be commit fornication and
after his wife divorced him he would be free to remarry. Nothing
could be farther from the truth!
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J. If both parties in a marriage participate in an unscriptural divorce,
then both parties will have to remain single or be reconciled to each
other.
1. “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not
the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the
husband put away his wife” (1 Cor 7:10,11).
2. I have had divorced people say to me, “Do you mean that I cannot
remarry? Is my only hope found in returning to my mate?” What do
these verses teach?
VIII. THE DISCIPLES’ VIEW.
A. Matt 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so
with his wife, it is not good to marry.
B. The disciples said, “If this is the case, then it would be better if a man did
not get married.”
C. Now this is a hard commandment and I know it hits close to many of us. It
hits close to me. I have people in my immediate family who are in an adulterous
situation.
D. It hurts to preach this. It hurts when I talk to them about their marriage.
However, if I love the Lord and if I want to go to heaven, I have to preach
the truth on this subject.
E. It is the same way with baptism. Every time I read about baptism, marriage,
divorce, remarriage, the one church, and the one way to worship
God, I realize more and more the Lord told the truth when He said, “... few
there be that find it”, speaking of salvation. He told the truth. The Lord
knows. If we want to be among the few, then we must obey the commandments
of God Almighty.
IX. NOT ALL CAN RECEIVE THIS COMMANDMENT.
A. Matt 19:11,12 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this
saying, save they to whom it is given. 12For there are some eunuchs,
which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some
eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs,
which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s
sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
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B. Some people are not able to enter marriage because they were born
eunuchs. Others were made eunuchs by men. Then some have made
themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. Paul made himself
a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He did this in a voluntary way.
He chose not to get married.
C. However, there are others who will have to make themselves eunuchs
because they found themselves in an unscriptural marriage.
1. Paul put it this way: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but
the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she
depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband:
and let not the husband put away his wife” (1 Cor 7:10,11).
D. It is so hard to walk out of an unscriptural marriage. I have known those
who loved God and their mates enough to do this. They are to be commended!
CONCLUSION.
1. The time to fix all marriage problems is before they arise.
2. We must teach our children the truth about marriage, divorce and remarriage
before they find themselves in unscriptural marriages.
3. Very few people will pay the price of giving up a mate to go to heaven. May God
help us in this endeavor.
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The Right Time To Get A Divorce
THE RIGHT TIME TO GET A DIVORCE
by Thomas Eaves, Andy Kizer and Wesley Simons
INTRODUCTION.
1. The word “divorce” means “to put away, to separate from.”
a. “Divorce” (def.): “1. legal and formal dissolution of a marriage. 2.complete
separation; disunion . . . “ (Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American
Language).
b. We are going to use the second part of the dictionary definition in this
lesson.
2. When one is dating and sees in his or her friend those things which will cause
major trouble after marriage, then the time to “divorce” or separate from that person
is before marriage.
3. Remember this is the second most important decision that will be made in your
life.
4. You must marry someone who is going to help you go to heaven.
a. If you are:
(1) Dating someone,
(2) Dating someone on a regular basis,
(3) Going steady,
(4) Unofficially engaged,
(5) Officially engaged, (bought ring, given and received),
(6) Engaged with wedding date set, wedding plans made, invitations
mailed, shower gifts received,
b. AND you determine that your fiancée cannot help you go to heaven, divorce
them (Thomas Eaves).
5. Here are some of the trouble areas that should cause red flags to go up in your
mind.
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I. IF HE/SHE IS TRYING TO GET YOU TO COMPROMISE TRUTH.
A. Prov 23:23 Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and
understanding.
B. Rev 2:10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the
devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall
have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a
crown of life.
1. If truth is more important than my life, then it has to be more
important than my mate.
2. Matt 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not
worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is
not worthy of me.
C. Andy Kizer’s true life experiences:
1. John Doe came to me in Howe, TX: “My girlfriend and I want to get
married and we want you to conduct the ceremony.” My reply:
“Fine, but I insist on having pre-marital counseling, first.” He
agreed and a date for the first session was set. In the first session, I
talked about marriage, the importance of it, etc. I talked about beginning
“as one.” I spoke of being in agreement in religion, and told
the young lady that I was going to do all I could to help her to become
a Christian before the wedding got near. The next time I saw
John Doe, he said the wedding was off. She had changed her
mind. I said, “ John , it is better to see something like this now (as
hard as it is) rather than after you are married.” But, in a few weeks,
the wedding was back on with someone else conducting the ceremony,
someone who would not talk to the young lady about becoming
a Christian, and they were married. In just a few months after
that, John fell away from the Lord and is away from Him to this day.
2. John Doe was engaged to be married. He had been engaged for
quite some time. His fiancée often came to worship with him. She
was in many Bible classes, but she was not a Christian. John often
studied the Bible with his girlfriend in her home and whenever he
could. He told her how important it is to be a child of God. The
wedding date was set. The church had a bridal shower for the
couple. Invitations were sent out. In a matter of a few weeks, however,
before the wedding, the young lady called the whole thing off.
John had made it clear to her that the Lord would be first in their
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lives and that His body would be of major importance to them as a
family. Denominationalism would not do. It had to be the Lord’s
church; and finally, she decided she could not do that. The wedding
was called off . . . for good. John is still not married. He is about 30
years old. He is still faithful to the Lord.
D. Two teenagers in Saltville, VA were just as faithful to God as they could be
until they married mates who were not members of the body of Christ.
E. They have been unfaithful for years.
F. David Sain (Florence, AL) has a video-taped lesson he calls, “Time to Get
a Divorce.” In it he tells of an interview Barbara Walters had with Donnie
Osmond. “What if you marry someone who is not a Mormon?” Osmond:
“That is not going to happen.”
II. IF HE/SHE IS PRESSURING YOU FOR PREMARITAL SEX.
A. Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers
and adulterers God will judge.
B. If your mate will not respect you now, why will he respect you later?
C. They often say, “If you love me, you will.”
D. If an individual does not honor God’s moral law before marriage how can
you trust him to do so after marriage?
1. Is this the person you want rearing your children?
2. What is he going to teach your children?
3. Will he want some young man having pre-martial sex with his
daughter?
4. What will you tell your children if they ask you if you engaged in
pre-martial sex?
E. Girls, how do you know he won’t go to bed with your sister?
F. Boys, how do you know she won’t go to bed with your brother?
G. It has happened.
H. Fornication is a sin.
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1. 1 Cor 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without
the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own
body.
2. Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
3. “But he/she loves me and I love him/her.”
4. 1 Cor 13:5 Love does not behave itself unseemly.
5. The “living together” arrangement does not work!
C. Premarital sex is a sin against:
1. God: Gen 39:9 There is none greater in this house than I; neither
hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his
wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against
God?
2. You: Eccl 12:1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth,
while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou
shalt say, I have no pleasure in them.
3. The other person.
4. Your parents.
5. Your reputation: Prov 22:1 A good name is rather to be chosen
than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.
6. Society: Matt 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may
see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
III. IF HE/SHE IS ABUSING YOU.
A. If your mates hits you now, he will hit you after you are married.
B. Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it;
C. Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself.
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D. Matt 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to
you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
E, This is such a bad problem that there are homes for battered women.
F. If he/she is abusive now, what makes you think saying marriage vows will
change such conduct? In fact, in most cases, such conduct becomes
worse after the wedding. Why borrow trouble like this?
G. “The FBI indicates that spousal physical abuse occurs every 15 seconds
in the U.S. This is the leading cause for women visiting Emergency
Rooms. The estimated medical cost alone may be $5 billion” (The Weekly
Visitor, Central Church of Christ; McMinnville, TN; Vol. 16, No. 44, p. 1).
H. Hitting, throwing a wife, throwing something at her are physically dangerous.
However, some other forms of abuse are harmful also, and all should
be stopped.
1. Solomon was an abuser simply by having more than one wife.
Forget the fact that it was common; it was wrong!
2. Jacob put one wife down in favor of another.
3. A man who habitually insults his wife, shouts at her, or withholds
himself or his possessions from her is an abuser.
4. Gender reversal makes the wife an abuser.
5. All abuse is wrong and must be stopped!
IV. IF HE/SHE CONSTANTLY NAGS YOU.
A. Prov 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a
brawling woman in a wide house.
B. Prov 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a
brawling woman and in a wide house.
C. Prove 19:13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions
of a wife are a continual dropping.
D. Prove 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious
woman are alike.
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V. IF HE/SHE CANNOT LEAVE MOM AND DAD.
A. Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
B. A “mommie’s boy” spells trouble.
C. Some women cannot leave mom.
VI. IF HE IS LAZY.
A. One must be gainfully employed to support a family.
1. One cannot feed his family simply by saying, “I love you.”
2. Do not get married and move in with mom and dad.
3. Do not try to start out where you mother and father are financially. It
took them years to get to where they are.
4. Remember, money problems is one of the leading causes for
divorces.
5. Prove 22:7 The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is
servant to the lender.
B. Gen 3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto
the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust
shalt thou return.
C. 1 Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his
own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
D. 2 Thess 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you,
that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
E. I have had to try to encourage some husbands to work to support their
families.
VII. IF HE/SHE USES DRUGS OR ALCOHOL.
A. Prove 20:1 Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is
deceived thereby is not wise.
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B. I have had women beg me for the right to divorce their husbands because
they were alcoholics.
C. Prov 23:29-33 Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions?
who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of
eyes? 30They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine.
31Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in
the cup, when it moveth itself aright. 32At the last it biteth like a serpent,
and stingeth like an adder. 33Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and
thine heart shall utter perverse things.
D. Recent studies show that alcohol is involved in 50% of all spousal abuse
cases and 40% of all children’s deaths (Tim Hatfield, “There is Nothing
Social about Alcohol” in Banner of Truth, Vol. 45, No. 49).
E. Drinking and drug abuse ranks high among the reasons people divorce.
F. Do you want a drunk rearing your children?
G. Are you going to teach your children not to drink? What about your
mate? Will the teaching be by both word and practice?
VIII. IF HE/SHE IS CRUEL TO OLD PEOPLE OR CHILDREN.
A. One can learn a lot about people by watching the way they treat other
people.
B. Lev 19:14-18 Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock
before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD. 15Ye shall do no
unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the
poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou
judge thy neighbour. 16Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer
among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour:
I am the LORD. 17Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou
shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
18Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy
people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.
C. Prove 14:31 He that oppresseth the poor reproacheth his Maker: but he
that honoureth him hath mercy on the poor.
D. If your date will not treat other people the way they ought to be treated,
what is he going to do to you?
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IX. IF HE/SHE HAS BEEN DIVORCED UNSCRIPTURALLY.
A. Matt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it
be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso
marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
B. Matt 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife,
saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and
whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
C. It will be hard to leave that unscriptural mate after being married ten years
and bearing five children to him.
D. The time to get out of an unscriptural marriage is to never enter one.
E. How many people do you know that would leave their mate to go to
heaven?
F. Matt 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all these things shall be added unto you.
X. IF YOU NEED TO CHANGE HIM OR HER.
A. “I counseled with two sisters when preaching in Bedford, TX. The first
planned to marry a Catholic. ‘I’m going to change him.” I begged her not to
do it. She did, and fell away. The second told me she was marrying an
atheist. I said, ‘Remember your sister.’ She said, ‘I know, but I’m going to
do better. I’m going to change him.’ She fell away” (Andy Kizer).
B. Why enter a marriage to do battle all your life?
C. If he will not change now to win your heart, what makes you think he will
change later?
D. Many times those who were going to change their mates became the ones
changing!
E. Continue to ask the question, “Will this person help me to go to heaven?”
F. Also ask, “Is this the person I want to be the mother/father of my children?”
G. What if they do not change?
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XI. OTHER POINTS TO CONSIDER.
A. If he cannot get along with people,
B. If he cannot handle money,
C. If he will not take care of himself,
D. If he is not truthful (trust is a must in marriage),
E. If he is not faithful to you while dating, and
F. If he has no morals.
CONCLUSION.
1. “Divorce” a bad mate before you marry him.
2. “Divorce” a bad mate before you marry him and bear his children
3. “Divorce” a bad mate before you marry him and bear his children and all of you
lose your souls.
4. A bad mate can encourage you to do wrong:
a. 1 Kgs 21:25 But there was none like unto Ahab, which did sell himself to
work wickedness in the sight of the LORD, whom Jezebel his wife stirred
up.
5. Mk 6:16-28 But when Herod heard thereof, he said, It is John, whom I beheaded:
he is risen from the dead. 17For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon
John, and bound him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s wife: for he
had married her. 18For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have
thy brother’s wife. 19Therefore Herodias had a quarrel against him, and would
have killed him; but she could not: 20For Herod feared John, knowing that he was
a just man and an holy, and observed him; and when he heard him, he did many
things, and heard him gladly. 21And when a convenient day was come, that Herod
on his birthday made a supper to his lords, high captains, and chief estates of
Galilee; 22And when the daughter of the said Herodias came in, and danced, and
pleased Herod and them that sat with him, the king said unto the damsel, Ask of
me whatsoever thou wilt, and I will give it thee. 23And he sware unto her, Whatsoever
thou shalt ask of me, I will give it thee, unto the half of my kingdom. 24And
she went forth, and said unto her mother, What shall I ask? And she said, The
head of John the Baptist. 25And she came in straightway with haste unto the king,
and asked, saying, I will that thou give me by and by in a charger the head of
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John the Baptist. 26And the king was exceeding sorry; yet for his oath’s sake, and
for their sakes which sat with him, he would not reject her. 27And immediately the
king sent an executioner, and commanded his head to be brought: and he went
and beheaded him in the prison, 28And brought his head in a charger, and gave it
to the damsel: and the damsel gave it to her mother.
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Are All Men Amenable To The Gospel Of Christ?
ARE ALL MEN AMENABLE TO THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST?
INTRODUCTION.
1. There are those who claim that all men are not amenable to the gospel of Christ.
2. There is a reason many take this view.
3. They are trying to get around God’s laws on marriage, divorce and remarriage.
4. The argument goes like this: If the person out in the world is not amenable to the
law of Christ, then he is not amenable to God’s law on